I am so excited to have Heather Jacks here at Paranormal and Romantic Suspense Reviews with a Spotlight and Giveaway.
Thanks Heather and Pump Up Your Book Promotions for allowing me to join The Noise Beneath the Apple Blog Tour!
Please take it away, Heather!
Do you remember that movie, Sleepless in Seattle? Of course you do. It was a ridiculously popular chick flick of the early nineties. Women cheered. Women cried. I grimaced. I scowled. I had a lot of questions, like: How did Sam afford that house? Or, how does little Jonah get a plane ticket; get to NYC and FIND freaking Annie — in New York City? Most important, however, and this is essential: What if Annie looked like, say Roseanne — instead of Meg Ryan — would Sam/Tom have been so smitten? I think not. So, I give the movie, two solid thumbs down, but it does bring up an interesting question: If you can’t meet guys at the usual haunts, like James Bond hosted Happy Hours or on top of the Empire State Building --- where do you meet them?
I thought about it and then one day, outside of my local grocery store, I was handed a pass for a ‘Free Week at LA Family Gym’, and I thought this might be the perfect place to meet eligible men. OK, I know nothing is FREE, but on that day after a short dissertation outlining my 32 easy payment options; I joined LA Family Gym, envisioning meeting oodles of eligible men and the promise of a new, improved me along the way. What could possibly go wrong?
Three weeks later, I found myself sitting on a bench in the women’s locker room, thoroughly winded after my workout with Lola; the once steroid-ingested jock of the nineties turned personal trainer. Then I looked up, and there it was. Lola had gone for the complete and utter annihilation of hair down there, and I’m not talking about a little etiquette grooming-I’m talking about the entire thing; the whole enchilada; from front door to back door. I spun my head in all directions only to find that there was no hair to be seen anywhere. How long had I been asleep? When did this happen? More important; why did this happen
“It’s a Brazilian,” she offered.
“Excuse me?”
“It’s called a Brazilian wax,” she said, directing my attention to her cue-ball smooth private parts.
“Oh.” I nodded, feigning understanding.
Twenty years ago, ‘bare down there’ belonged exclusively to women on the pole and in Playboy. Now the furry undercoat was no more and The Brazilian had gone main-stream.
I went home and researched, letting my 310 college units fly into action. First, I clicked on EBay, where I discovered instructional videos and home waxing kits for around $5.00. Then I clicked through Google, where I discovered a whole empire built around hair removal. When had hair become so offensive?
Come to find out, there are varying degrees of waxing, from modest to intense. Skilled professionals can take you from Grizzly Adams to Sinead O’Connor in as little as 15 minutes. Afterwards, Aloe Vera or coconut palm oil is applied, to reduce reddening and swelling while leaving you silky smooth and smelling like a Pina Colada. Now, I like a Pina Colada, who doesn’t, but, I discovered more. Designer Merkins, custom tailored for you, while you wait.
What is a ‘merkin’, you may wonder.
A merkin is an accessory that hovers between your legs to cover your bald private parts. It can be cut, dyed, and made into any shape, using any fabric; for example, a fuzzy leopard-print flower or piranha, your company logo, or the American flag. They come in three convenient sizes; petite, standard, and Sasquatch. Merkins have been around since the 1400s, when they were donned by risqué aristocrats in grand old Paris.
But, I digress; this is not a history lesson. The Brazilian wax is not about merkins, the abandonment of your .39 cent Bic, thongs, or hygiene. The Brazilian is about sex, and nothing more.
Never once have I been sitting on my couch, watching Dr. Oz, thinking; “This house is a disaster. I bet a Brazilian would motivate me to pull out my Hoover.” Or, “Damn, I think a bush waxing would put me in the mood to bake those cookies for the PTA Meeting.”
Women want great sex and we are willing to do our part, to get it. But why stop with our legs behind our ears like Gumby or allowing complete strangers to pour hot wax on us and rip out hair? If I’m going that far, I’m all in. I would pull out some magic markers and pen in directional arrows; have a Merkin made with a big, yellow S on the front, attach little-lights to the landing strip, put up some tiny traffic cones.
Truth is women get our bodies ready for sex and our brains follow, which is exactly the opposite of men. We get our nails done, toes buffed, hair coiffed and our beehives waxed.
By the time men arrive, we’re already halfway there.
Maybe it’s because I’m from a generation punctuated by Reganomics and the great debate, whose better, Michael or Prince? But as for me, hanging out at Level 50, I learned a few things that day: I plan to stay off the pole and keep my hair; I will not apologize for being a woman and Sleepless in Seattle is still a sick delusion unless, you look like Meg Ryan.
About the Author
Heather Jacks was raised on Indian reservation in southeastern Oregon, until age fifteen, at which time; she was chosen to be an ‘experimental exchange student’ to Australia. She went down under, with an organization called YFU, Youth for Understanding, and spent 10.5 months turning16 in the Outback. When she returned, she attended college, and received an FCC license, followed by completing a B.A. from USF and two years of study at UC Davis.
During her twenties, she traveled extensively, worked in the music industry in various capacities; radio, production, A&R, booking and eventually, landed at a new and young company, called Starbucks, where she worked on a Star Team and opened new stores in remote markets.
Music has always been her passion and during her tenure at Starbucks, she helped launch Hear Music, which today is Starbucks Music Label. Eventually, she returned to the business side of music at a major indie label, where she had a number of roles, from concert production to glorified babysitter.
An avid TV Junkie, die-hard SF Giants fiend and unapologetic Twitter practitioner, she recently won a Book of the Year Award for her multi-media project, The Noise Beneath the Apple®; A Celebration of Busking in New York City, which was inspired by her love for street music, busking and the people who make it.
She currently hangs her hat in San Francisco and am is working on the Bay Area version of the TNBTA® busker project.
For More Information
Visit Heather Jacks’ website.
Connect with Heather on Facebook and Twitter.
Find out more about Heather at Goodreads.
Visit Heather’s blog.
About the Book
Title: The Noise Beneath the Apple: A Celebration of Busking in the Bay Area
Author: Heather Jacks
Publisher: TNBTA Media
Pages: 200
Genre: Media and Performing Arts
The Noise Beneath the Apple® is a hardcover, Limited Edition Art-Style/Coffee Table book, presented in an elegant slipcase. It measures 12″ x 12″ and celebrates buskers and street music in New York City. It includes a history, evolution and culture of busking, photos, interviews and commentary with 35 of NYC’s prominent street musicians. A cherry red vinyl record, of 11 tracks of original music, mastered by Grammy and Academy Award winning Reuben Cohen, (Slumdog Millionaire, Frozen), is page 200. At the culmination of the project, 30 participants went to Grand Street Recording in Brooklyn, where they covered Billy Joel's hit song, New York State of Mind. A 12 minute short film and music video were created from that day and are included with the book, making this project, truly multi-media. The project won a Book of the Year Award in the category of Performing Arts and Music.
For More Information
The Noise Beneath the Apple: A Celebration of Busking in the Bay Area is available at Amazon.
Pick up your copy at her website for less!
Discuss this book at PUYB Virtual Book Club at Goodreads.
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